Sue: Becky, the special election to fill Ken “Heart Attack” Weigand’s congressional seat is in two months, and I am in ninth place at six percent, well behind “Undecided,” that rapist running from prison, and “I don’t care, please don’t call me during dinner.” I thought the people wanted a candidate who was for something. That’s why I took that pro-deportation stance. But the people are angry. They want a candidate who’s against something.
Becky: What about toast? Bread’s already been baked. I don’t get why you need to cook it again.
Sue: Oh, Becky, your twisted genius excites me. That said, I’m on the precipice of doom. I need to find something everyone hates.